Pop. Soda. Soft drinks. Tonics. Sweet drinks containing carbonated water and flavoring.

Coke.

We can dispense with discussions of why sugar water has more success in spreading economic imperialism than 30 armored divisions, or why modern marketing technology and business practices are more than a match for your quaint notions of personal choice in life. The fact is, you want Coke, and you want to optimize the cost and distance you have to travel to get it.

SACM has Coke for you. SACM's Coke is conveniently located in can form on the 2nd floor of the CS building, and very reasonably priced at $0.60 each, but not so conveniently or cheaply that you will drink too much of it.

How does it work? Simple. Give SACM money. If you do not have a Coke account, SACM will create one for you, and credit your account. Then you log in at the coke machine, and it will dispense coke to you. Any profits from this activity go towards TGIF, Welcome Weekend, and other SACM activities.

How do you give SACM money? The current Coke Head who is Matt Elder, in CS 5394. If you're lucky enough to find him there, he'll not-begrudgingly set up an account for you, and accept your money. You can hand him cash or a check made out to SACM. You can also put such checks in his fifth-floor mailbox, and he might eventually find it. (Don't leave cash there; the Common Mailbox Gnome thinks cash is delicious.)

And if you're extremely lazy, efficient, or antisocial, or if you want to code up an automatic-deposit mechanism or some such geekiness, you can even give SACM money over PayPal. PayPal money (no credit cards) to devnull@cs.wisc.edu, mentioning "Coke" in the "note" field.